Letters to the Lover
by Six Underground
Summary: Harry writes a letter to his lover after a heart breaking night at a pub. Angsty and really sappy. Please read and review. Rated PG-13 for the use of one swear and the fact that it's slash.


What you are about to read is what happens when Chibi gets depressed and reads Aydindril (Go read that fic! You'll love it) for the millionth time. I'm sorry if it's a little confusing at times, I wrote this at around 1am. Quick notes: This is AFTER the fall of Voldemort, and Harry is very, very sad. I might write a sequel, but I don't know. On to my version of a depressing fic (I have no idea if it is or not)  
  
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You're gone.  
  
Scratch that. I'm gone. You stayed behind, all the time telling me it was a big mistake. Was it? Was it all just a mistake? Tell me lover, what part was the mistake? Was it the part where you told me you would love me forever? Was it our first kiss? Was it that warm June night when I finally gave you my all? Or was it the moment when we told everyone we were together? Oh wait, I'm sorry. You meant that night at the pub. The night you showed me your true colors. The night you were all over the other. Zambini. It was fucking BLAISE ZAMBINI! You really know how to pick them lover. Everything screamed your secret intentions. The body language, the looks he gave you all that night. And then there was that kiss. That oh-so-perfect, silky kiss. The one that ruined my life.  
  
You don't really know, do you? You don't know how much it hurt. Have you ever had that feeling that your heart has been ripped out, cut into tiny pieces by the knife of Fate, then stepped on by the boot of Betrayal? No, I suppose not. For me, that's what it's like every single moment of my life. Try living with that every time you see my picture and then tell me that kiss was worth it. I loved you. I still do in fact. More than you might ever know. I know nothing spectacular ever happened to us. No one came along and told us we were soulmates. Neither one of us rescued the other from the brink of death and saved then them with a searing kiss. You never saved me in a Quidditch match, and we never found a pool of magic that made us stronger than any of the other wizards of our time. It was just you and me. But that's what I loved best about our relationship. No pressure. I could be me and you could be you. No strings attached. I guess I never realized it meant that one day it was possible that we wouldn't be together.  
  
It might even be called funny if you look close enough. One time enemies turned into lovers, much to the protest of many. Then, one stabs the other in the back and they're back to square one. Tell me, did you love me? Or were you trying to prove something to people? I want to know lover, why did you start a relationship with me? Was it a sick joke? A dare or a bet? Or did you truly love me for who I am?  
  
If you haven't noticed the undertones of this letter, than you aren't as smart as I thought. I'll state it simply. I love you. But I'm torn. Torn between running back to you and forgiving you, and turning away and forcing you out of my life. I must say, however, that at this point and time the forgiving side is stronger. Am I a fool? Probably. But then, it makes me no different from everyone else. You know, sometimes I night I dream. Always the same, not a single detail different. I'm sitting at my window, looking out into the dark. You come Apparating in, your hair messy and you looking like a god. You walk over, sweep my into your arms, declare your love, and kiss me. How perfect it is. So simplistic yet so meaningful. I look at you, my heart bursting with love. I tell you I'll stand beside you forever. You'll gaze into my eyes, emotions shining in your eyes, and you'll say the same. We'll kiss and hug and live in peace. Then I'll wake up, cry my heart out, stare into the consuming darkness and think of you. You and your gorgeous body, with those strong arms that I love to have wrapped around me and your platinum hair, like fine silk that I yearn to fun my fingers through. Despite what everyone says of you, I love your personality too. The pride that flows from every inch of your being. The confidence, the knowledge, the everything. You complete me.  
  
Honestly, I don't know why I'm writing this. I know that in 2 hours after I send this to you, I'll be cursing myself and damning myself to Hell. But strangely, I feel like it's worth it. That somehow, I'll know that if it all ends and I'm alone, I'll have said what needed to be said and I can leave in peace. If you walked up to me and told me that that kiss you shared with Zambini meant nothing, absolutely nothing to you, I would believe you. Crazy, don't you think? It's up to you now. But remember, if you come back and then brake my heart again, it's goodbye for good. I'm willing to give it another chance, if you are too. Which ever path you choose, may the Lord be with you. May my spirit be with you. I love you Draco Malfoy. That fact will never change.  
  
The One That Gave You His Heart,  
  
Harry James Potter  
  
  
  
Harry sat back, rereading his letter for the hundredth time. It was perfect. A little confusing at times, but perfect. He sighed, knowing it was stupid to send it. But he would anyway. It needed to be sent. The clock flashed 11:30pm as he called Hedwig to him. She flew over to him and blinked.  
  
"Go to him," he whispered to her, his voice steady, "You know who and you know where to go. Give him the letter and then come back. No dawdling, just go there then back."  
  
She blinked again, giving him a sort of sad look. He knew she pitied him, but now was not the time for pity. She hooted reassuringly, her way of telling him she'd do as he asked. She took to the air. Harry sighed again, sitting in a chair by the window. He'd been doing that for a while now. He sat, staring into the dark. Waiting.  
  
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Chibi: There you have it. Should I write a sequel? I've been pondering it.  
  
Lee-chan: My god woman, I know I'm supposed to be your muse, but where did this come from?  
  
Chibi: Give me a break! Read the top notes if you want to know what caused this fic Lee-chan! Um, please review! 


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